


Double Happiness Masala

by busaikko



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Real World, Coming Out, Community: snupin_santa, Epilepsy, Gay Male Character, M/M, alternate universe - non magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-02
Updated: 2005-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 16:50:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busaikko/pseuds/busaikko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two lonlinesses, many secrets, one solution?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Happiness Masala

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sandrainthesun](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sandrainthesun).



> Beta by The Senjou
> 
> A/N: The author has no experience with epilepsy; but did once travel through Asia with a friend with a seizure disorder, which has been borrowed shamelessly. She also stole her former roommate's scars.

Severus had been told that the computing department would send someone to get rid of the virus that had gone through the pharmaceutical department like, well, like the disease it was described as. He disliked intensely the idea of anyone rummaging through his hard drive.

But he especially disliked having Remus Lupin in his office.

"Hello, I hear you've got a problem," the man said, opening the door after knocking, without waiting for Severus to admit him. He introduced himself and slid easily into Severus' hastily vacated chair.

He didn't look like a computer nerd, unless perhaps the shoulder-length hair caught back with a band counted. Severus didn't think it did. The thick honey coloured hair and the warm brown eyes and the wide mouth with a ready smile pushed all Severus' buttons in a totally figurative sense. (And speaking of figures, Severus' brain surreptitiously checked and approved.)

"Do you know how it started?" Lupin turned the computer on and did something with the keyboard that made the screen turn blue. Some kind of code began scrolling by.

"No idea," Severus said, although he secretly suspected the daughter of the artificial hormones researcher, who could usually be found uploading and downloading games in her office after school. "It's crucial that the data not be corrupted."

"You do keep backup, don't you?" Lupin said, leaning as far back in the chair as was possible and working through a labyrinth of menus.

"On paper," Severus said. "Trying to force a student to retype it all would be... unpleasant. Although better than doing it myself."

Lupin shot him an amused look from under his over-long fringe. "Your own days of being a desperate graduate student can't be that far behind you."

"I believe in giving what I got," Severus replied dryly, and Lupin laughed.

"In this case, I hope you _haven't_ given anyone what you've got. This is a variant of the 'asobou' virus that not only eats your data but tries to send itself to everyone in your address book. Nasty."

"Will the world end?"

"Not today," Lupin said. "You might as well go out for coffee. It has taken me, on average, one hour and twenty-five minutes to remove the virus and restore corrupted data."

"Are _you_ a graduate student, then?" Severus asked, and Lupin gave him a highly amused glance.

"I'm teaching. I'm just back from the States. The department doesn't quite know what to do with me yet. And I just can't say no--" Severus' mind gibbered--"to a challenge. There are at least three graduate students who are out doing the same thing, though, which I suppose puts me in my place." He shrugged, smiling. "I gather that this sort of madness often takes place at the beginning of term."

"It used to be a much more sedate madness. Usually involving alcohol, nudity, and large vats of pudding."

"Nostalgia, Dr-- Good Lord, I forgot to ask your name. What terrible manners."

"Snape," Severus said. "Severus Snape." And waited tensely for the look of recognition. But either Lupin didn't remember or he was very, very tactful.

"It's a pleasure to meet you--and I mean that. Yours is the first hard drive I've seen today that wasn't riddled with pornography. It's refreshing."

"I hope," Severus murmured, letting his mouth curl in a rare smile of his own, "you took note of names and... predilections."

"Would I do such a thing?"

_Yes, _ Severus thought, _I think you would. So would I. _ He straightened and repressed a fidget. "I think I will go get that coffee. Can I bring you back something?"

Lupin shook his head, dislodging a chin-length strand of hair that had been shoved behind his ear. "No, thank you. I was in California too long. I gave up caffeine and went vegetarian. My family mocks me whenever they get the chance." He glanced at the computer monitor. "It should take about an hour more. See you then?"

Severus nodded curtly, grabbed his coat, and headed for the cafeteria. He tried to imagine life without caffeine. _Why does something tell me that I wouldn't mind life without caffeine with Remus Lupin?_ Severus cursed his traitor brain, not for the first time.

Severus was waylaid by the department head while he dithered in front of an ominous display of trifle in the cafeteria.

"Go ahead," she said, nudging him cheekily, which was horrible because she'd always rather reminded him of his grandmother. "I doubt it will ruin your figure."

"No, thank you," he snapped, and went to queue up with his coffee (black, no sugar). The woman followed him purposefully.

"Now, about the committee for the upcoming conference in Birmingham, I don't suppose... " she started, and Severus sighed and began battling for the precious few hours left open in his schedule. She couldn't be ignored: that would only be construed as an invitation to do as she liked. But with Olivia on maternity leave (and who'd told her to go and have twins, for goodness' sake?) and Richard off writing his latest book in the Amazon, they were desperately short-staffed, and there were gaps which even graduate students could not be expected to fill.

The discussion continued all the way back to the department and ended up an impromptu meeting. Severus grudgingly agreed to head the conference committee, but swore that if Richard was not back by January he'd give up the seminar in toxicology or go screaming mad (at which several not-quite sotto voce comments were heard to the effect of, "and you're not now?").

By the time the melee was finished and the staff were free to creep off and lick their wounds, three hours had elapsed. Severus could have bitten any number of his colleagues; instead, he slammed the door to his office and sat down to fill in his new responsibilities on his desk calendar. The computer sat silently, almost reproachfully. Severus glared at it, and then turned it on.  
There was a new text file on his desktop addressed to him; ridiculously pleased, Severus clicked on it.

_Dear Dr Snape: Please let me know if you are missing any data. Whatever you were working on at the time the virus entered the computer is most likely to be damaged. I'm sorry now I didn't take you up on your offer of coffee. I live in fear of becoming the sort of person who lives &amp; breathes computers and whose social skills atrophy. A professional hazard! But I'm sure we will be seeing each other around campus. rlupin@polyuni.ac.uk_

Severus smiled, for the second time that day. The term promised to be interesting.

* * *

"You're not actually thinking of dining in there, are you?"

Remus (and Severus realized with chagrin that his brain _did_ think of him now as 'Remus') stopped, his hand on the cafeteria door handle, and turned. His face lit with recognition, and Severus realized with a shock that it was the first time that day (or week, perhaps; or term?) that someone had actually been pleased to see him. _Give him time._

"Is there a reasonable alternative?"

Severus thought of the pork pie remains in his refrigerator, keeping his milk and jam company. "There's an Indian restaurant across the river. I'm sure they have vegetarian food."

"Is that where you're heading?"

"Why not?" Severus said, and they fell into step easily, passing through the stone and iron gates and heading down the hill towards the river. "Rumour has it that the meals in the cafeteria are actually a biotech project."

"Well, that would be your department," Remus said easily. Severus looked sharply sideways, but there was no knowing smirk, no cruel twist to his mouth. Remus turned his head just enough to meet Severus' eyes, and his face became opaque. Calculating, almost. "I do know who you are," he said, almost apologetically. "I wasn't going to say anything, but it's a bit awkward, isn't it? I shared a house," he said, looking forward at the buildings and ignoring the flow of the broad river, "with Potter and Black, back in uni. And Pettigrew."

"Oh," Severus said, helpless against the past. No matter how far he went, the old chains always pulled him down again. "And how is the boy?" he asked, tasting bitterness.

"Last I heard, he's doing fine. Black's getting married sometime next year. Life goes on."

"For some."

Remus cocked his head in acknowledgement. "For some."

"And there's a reason we need to discuss this, Lupin?"

What was it about the man that the cutting tone, which reduced junior staff to feigning allergies to defend their tears, merely made him smile? He wondered what he'd have to do to hurt Remus Lupin. He supposed that if he were more well-balanced he'd wonder why he wanted to hurt him, but he knew, he knew. He knew very well the sound of hope dying, and the need to pass the pain around.

"Because life does go on. Because there's a chance that both of us, freed from our pasts, might actually find that we have things in common."

"What, Lupin, can you know after meeting me twice?" Severus looked down at the tempting river, swift under the bridge.

"Well, Severus, we both enjoy Indian food, that's a good place to begin. Right or left here?"

"Right," Severus said, and they crossed the road diagonally, hurrying to avoid a bus. "And up that alley."

The Indian place did indeed have a vegetarian menu, and Remus ordered an incredible amount of food. There was a Bollywood film playing on a television next to the till, and a black-velvet and elephant motif that barely disguised the fact that the shop had formerly been a Chinese, with 'double happiness' worn but visible on the glass doors.

The teenaged girl who'd taken their order entertained a constant stream of students. Several of them came over to say hello to Remus; not a few ducked away when they saw Severus.

"You appear to have traumatised them," Remus said, leaning back and stretching his long legs out. He looked sated and content, with both his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of chai ("one cup won't kill you," Severus had said; he liked to think that he was leading Remus astray).

"I do not suffer idiots gladly."

Remus snorted. "They're not that bad."

"Is this your first term teaching?" Remus nodded. "The shine wears off." Severus managed for the first time since arriving in the shop to look Remus in the face. "What did you do before coming here?"

Remus sipped his chai, obviously constructing his story, and Severus loathed the awkwardness.

"I left university after the Potters died," Remus said. "I went to work with friends in the States. Are you familiar with Alpha?"

"Computer... something," Severus said, frowning.

Remus' grin was on the cheeky side of condescending. "It's a programming language that I helped write for designing games and hack-proof applications. We're working on an OS as well, but that's still a few years down the road. I spent several years on the Alpha project, and I finally finished up my degree last year. It felt like time to come home, and I wrote to the Chancellor. He offered me a position. It was, however, contingent on teaching Intro to Statistics."

"Sucker," Severus said. "We lose our statistics professor every year. There are those who say the position is cursed."

"I've heard that," Remus said, nodding. "The department secretary cornered me with a tale of midnight hangings and straitjackets."

"Dumbledore has a way of mixing kindness with opportunism."

"Is that why you're here?" Remus asked, and then flushed. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

Severus shrugged. "Even the students ask me, why should you be any different?"

"Fuck." Remus sat up, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward. "How badly did Riddle ruin your life? You were going to be a doctor, I believe."

"And now I am a teacher. I'm not suffering, Lupin. I'm not dead."

"Are you happy?"

Severus leaned back, away from the earnestness of Remus' gaze. "I have never been happy. I don't see why I should start now."

Remus apparently realised that he had pushed as far as Severus would permit. "Well. Let's have the girl do up the leftovers and if they don't contribute to your happiness, you'll at least get breakfast out of them."

"You should take half," Severus said, hefting the weighted-down carrier bag.

"I live in the graduate student residence," Remus said, holding the door. "And I don't cook."

He said this with such finality that Severus half-turned back to look at him. "Bad experience with scones?" he asked, only mildly scathing.

"Bad experience with epilepsy," Remus said, and let the door bang behind him. "I've learnt to avoid potentially hazardous activities. I've a lovely collection of scars from a pot of boiling water that I dumped over myself."

Severus' brain had gone scampering after the lovely collection of scars like a fox after a rabbit, and he shook his head sharply. "How long have you been epileptic?" he asked, because asking to see the scars seemed a bit... forward.

"I had my first seizure just before going to university. So--twelve years now. Thirteen? God, I'm getting old."

Severus did the same mental calculations and smiled to himself. Remus must be the same age.

"I take my medicine," Remus said, "and I very rarely have full-blown seizures. Usually it's just... visual disturbances. I suppose it's something you ought to know."

Severus' brain jumped forward with a rare act of censorship and snatched the "why?" from his tongue, replacing it with the more ambiguous, "It must be hard for you."

Remus was silent for a few paces; but he began speaking in the dark between streetlights. "What is hard is finding a balance between doing what I want to do and the things I do to stay safe. I hate to be constantly assessing risks. Dare I drive a car? Drink beer? Disrupt my schedule?" Coming into the half-light, he gave Severus a self-deprecating smile. "I never was one to obey rules. I was a computer hacker originally. Fancied myself an anarchist."

"Your family must be pleased at how establishment you've become."

Remus laughed. "You can't imagine. Of course, my mother thinks that it was the sheer force of her nagging that got me through my degree and into a real job, so she's not letting up. Do you have family?"

"My mother." Severus thought that sounded bald. "She lives in a communal house with four other women. They bake organic bread with garden-grown herbs and design solar cookers for the third world." That sounded worse.

Remus snorted. "Does that keep her occupied, or does she like to manage your love life, too?"

_What damned love life?_ Severus thought. "No," he said. They'd reached the top of the hill. "I live down that way, past the chemists'." It would have been quicker to have gone home along the river; Severus hoped Remus didn't know that.

"Oh." Remus had his hands in his pockets. "Well, good night, then." He took a step backwards. "Thank you for rescuing me from the cafeteria."

"Anytime," Severus said, and nodded goodbye. He set off down the dark lane, his shoulders tightening with the effort it took to not look back. He didn't want to see Remus gone; he didn't dare consider that Remus might be watching him walk out of sight. At least not until he was in the privacy of his rented rooms.

* * *

Somehow, the dinners out on Friday nights became a habit. They tried any place in the city within walking distance--Moroccan, Italian, Thai--but they always came back to what Remus now referred to as Double Happiness Masala. Once they had brought along other people from their respective departments, and on one memorably awful occasion Remus' department head had run into them in front of a Japanese noodle shop. Remus had invited the man along, obviously hoping he'd refuse, but he'd apparently had a row at home and was in need of three hours of karaoke. Even Remus' ability to do dead-on impersonations of all the Ramones failed to drive the man away.

But usually it was just the two of them, escaping, as Remus called it. Severus found himself fighting the urge to go home, shower, and change before meeting Remus by the gates. It was not, he needed to remind his brain, a date. It was not in the least romantic. It was not even particularly friendly; comfortable, perhaps. And he certainly was not nursing a crush on or harbouring an infatuation with Remus Lupin. That his brain had made Remus' face and body its trigger for orgasms since September; well, he had no control over that. But Friday nights were... nothing more than they appeared.

So perhaps it was nothing to be surprised at that Remus was not waiting as he usually was, leaning carelessly against the stones of the gate. Severus, they had agreed without discussion, did not wait; would never wait. Remus cared neither way, so he was always the one who arrived first.

But it was an indisputable fact that he was not there, and Severus was furious. He stared at the empty wall for nearly a full minute, and then went home. There was no message on his machine. He was no longer in the habit of leaving himself leftovers between Thursday and his Saturday shopping. He did have almost a full bottle of whiskey, and it nearly went well with ham and toast (although, his brain protested, not nearly as well as Indian beer went with curry).

He had the number for the graduate student residence where Remus lived, another of Dumbledore's odd economies disguised as kindness, he thought. It took several glasses of whiskey, two hours, and one bad detective drama on the television before he decided that he could call, and then it took nearly another half hour to think of what to say.

_It's not a goddamned **date**, and you haven't been stood up. It's just two lonely people killing time together until they stop being lonely. And admit that he's always been more likely to graduate from that category than yourself._

Severus pulled the telephone onto the sofa and dialled. It was picked up on the sixth ring and dropped, and Severus could hear the heavy bass of music.

"Hello? Hello?"

It was a girl, and Severus felt irrationally vindictive. "Remus Lupin, please."  
There was the sound of incomplete muffling, and then the girl was replaced by a deep baritone voice.

"About Remus--are you family?"

"Friend," Severus said.

"Damn. Sorry. Look, do you have his parents' telephone number? There's been--he's in the medical centre, did you know?"

"No," said Severus, and suddenly it was hard to hear because the throb of the music perfectly matched the roar of blood in his head, and it was like standing on the sea shore during a typhoon. He hung the phone up quietly and leant his head back, studying the ceiling. It was not quite nine at night. He got up unsteadily and went to dig through the junk drawer for his campus directory.

* * *

"Good morning," Severus said, and Remus turned to look at him and smiled. He was sitting up in a pair of faded blue pyjamas and had a breakfast tray on a side table that he was fiddling with. He also had a livid bruise that covered most of his forehead, with a bandage in the middle.

"I'm not sure it is," Remus said, cheerfully enough. "A _good_ morning usually starts in my own bed. I've had very few good mornings that started in hospitals, and definitely not ones that begin with porridge."

"I wouldn't eat that, if I were you," Severus said: it resembled boiled down pasteboard.

"I was actually just thinking of how best to disguise the fact that I'm not going to eat it. I doubt they'll let me go if they think I'm too ill to eat."

"Are you ill?"

Remus leaned back against the headboard. "I'm _fine_." His face had that shut, defensive look that Severus knew now to associate with uncomfortable topics. "I'd have gone home last night, except that there was a party in the residence, and my head hurt, and my medical expenses are _covered_, so... I got a good night's sleep, and I'm _fine_."

"Then I propose that I tip that mess down the drain, and you can have breakfast at my flat. I'll cook. Toast, eggs. Tea. Unless you'd rather go back to your house."

A faint smile hovered at the corners of Remus' mouth. "Toast, eggs, and tea sounds wonderful." He pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Hand me my rucksack, would you?" Severus did so, and Remus pulled out a pair of jeans and a jumper.

"I'll just go destroy the evidence, shall I?" Severus said, grabbing the tray and leaving the ward before he could be tormented by the sight of Remus Lupin changing clothes.

When he returned empty-handed, having taken the porridge-less tray down to the kitchen, Remus was fully-dressed and nodding as a nurse nattered on at him. He promised to be back to have the stitches removed, and then he was free. As they walked down the steps, he pulled his sunglasses out of the rucksack and slipped them on.

"I feel like a pretentious git wearing these this early in the morning," he said apologetically. "But I think it was forgetting them yesterday that set the seizure off. The sun on the river. I feel like I'm trying to go incognito."

"You could wear a hat as well," Severus said, "to complete the ensemble," and Remus' laughter echoed off the brick walls lining the road.

* * *

"Mushrooms, spinach, cheese, or all three?" Severus asked.

"All three, if it's no problem. I'm starving. I slept through dinner last night."

"What happened?" Severus was busy with knives and whisks; the high level of distraction, he thought, worked in his favour.

Remus, facing him from the couch, legs stretched out and looking entirely at home, shook his head. "I was upset. I'll explain after we eat. But I went for a walk down by the river. Somewhere between the flower shop and the newsagent's I had a fit, and I hit my head falling down. Someone called the university medical centre, and they came and took me away." He sighed. "So, there goes my opportunity to apply for a driver's license, and I get a new scar as well. Oh, and I stood you up. Unless the rumour-mill had warned you already?"

"Paranoid, aren't you? I called your residence. They were quite eager to call your family, by the way, if you want to worry about something."

Remus looked alarmed. "They didn't, did they?"

"How the hell would I know?" Severus pointed to the phone with the vegetable knife. "You can call yourself if you're concerned. We won't be ready to eat for another ten minutes."

"Thanks," Remus said. He sat for a moment longer, and then pushed himself up. Severus could hear him talking, but he was busy with the omelette, the toast, and the tea and disinclined anyway to listen to others' conversations. He had no desire to steal secrets; he'd had enough of that for one lifetime. He set the table for two for the first time and thought, briefly, how pathetic that was.

"Can I help with anything?" Remus asked, poking his head around the corner. "I realise it's too late to actually be useful, but I thought I'd make a token effort."

"There's a lemon in the refrigerator. You could slice it." Severus slid the omelette onto a platter and set it on the table, followed by a stack of toast. He set out jam, butter, sugar, and milk. Remus did a passable job with the lemon and handed it over. Severus waved at him to be seated. He actually had two matching tea cups, and he set them out on their matching saucers. Remus poured the tea, and Severus sat.

Remus was disinclined to speak until nearly half the omelette and three pieces of toast had disappeared from his plate. "This is brilliant," he said, pausing for breath. "Where'd you learn to cook?"

"My mother," Severus said, sipping at his second cup of tea, "did not believe in raising me to embrace and be enslaved by traditional gender roles."

Remus snorted. "She ought to write a book on it then, if this is a result." He took in Severus' expression and grinned. "Don't tell me she _did_ write a book?"

"Yes, but it's under her name, so don't think you'll be able to find it easily."

Finally, Remus sighed out a "that was delicious" and carried his plate into the kitchen, setting it in the sink. He came back and sat facing Severus with an odd expression.

"There's something I need to tell you," Remus said, "but first I wanted to say that I've come to value your friendship... very much."

Severus leaned back and raised an eyebrow (a trick he had picked up from Remus, damn him).

"I'm gay, Severus." Remus paused at the place where it was all but obligatory to follow up with 'but I've only ever thought of you as a friend'. As if to gloss over that omission, he spoke a bit faster. "I have Nym Tonks in Intro Stat-- don't know if you know her, very, ah, enthusiastically militant lesbian, pink hair?"

Severus shrugged: these days, that described half the female students.

"She asked me if it were true that you and I were... seeing each other. Apparently, there's a rumour among the gay students, and who knows where it'll go. So." Remus looked up, as if he were forcing himself. His expression was--regretful? (_Regretful is good_, Severus' brain whispered.) "I'm not going to hide what I am. My department head knows. But I don't think-- I will understand completely if you don't want to be seen or associated with me. If you want to make other plans for Friday nights."

"So," Severus said slowly, "you think it would be... easier?... better?... to end our friendship than be confronted by rumours? Very cowardly of you, Lupin."

Remus saluted him with his tea. "Ta, Severus. You've ever the talent for poking the places it hurts. I'm trying _not_ to be a coward about this, for the first time in my life. And I _don't_\--don't want to end our friendship. But you should be aware of what's coming, and be able to opt out."

Severus leaned back. "I know I'm not popular, Lupin, and I even know why. Not many people go out of their way to befriend the person who made the drugs for Riddle's experiments. Exonerated of murder or not."

Remus' eyes flashed at that. "I have never once thought of you as a murderer," he said softly. "On the contrary, I think it took great courage to do what you did. Without your evidence, neither Riddle nor Pettigrew would be in prison. And you acted even though you knew it would hurt you badly." He leaned forward. "I repeat, that was very courageous. But this is different. There's no need for you to be hurt. And I don't want to be the cause of pain for you."

_Now- now- now-_, Severus' brain screamed. Severus made a new pot of tea and watched it as it steeped. Finally, finally he was able to look up.

"I'm not really as brave as you think," he said. "I am mostly... self-serving. If I were brave... I would have told you that I'm gay as well, and that I think I fell in love with you that first day in my office."

Remus' face went completely blank; then he scraped his chair back, stood, walked around the table, tipped Severus' chin up with one hand, and bent to kiss him. Remus was taut and questioning until their lips met, and then Severus felt the tension flow out of him in a sigh. Remus pulled him up; it was strange how well their bodies fit together. Remus' fingers traced his jaw, brushed over his cheek, combed through his hair. Severus wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and felt his warmth flow into him.

"Ought you to do this?" Severus asked. "Considering--"

"Yes, I ought to do this," Remus said fiercely, his hands still tangled in Severus' hair. "Thank you for having the tact to not ask if I _can_."

"_Can_ you?" Severus asked, letting one hand slide down from Remus' waist to the front of his jeans. "I think so." Remus moved against him with a sound that could only be a moan. "I do have a bedroom, with a bed--is that moving too fast for you?"

"I don't know," Remus said, smiling, although his habitual humour had a sharper edge to it now, of undeniable lust. "Is this our first date or our fourteenth?"

"Fifteenth, actually."

"All right, then. I wouldn't want to be _easy_."

"I can't see you having that problem," Severus said, and held Remus' hand as he led the way back. "Ah. I wasn't expecting visitors."

"I like the lived-in look," Remus said. "There'd be no point making the bed anyway."

Severus sat down on the edge of the bed. Remus sat down next to him and kissed him again, a kiss in which Severus' shirt was undone and pushed down his arms. Severus had his hands under Remus' jumper now, his fingers curling on Remus' skin.

Remus broke off and pulled the jumper over his head. "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes," Severus said, removing his vest as well. "If you think you're going to have regrets tomorrow, we should stop now."

"No regrets," Remus said. "I should tell you three things, though. Well. One you already know."

Severus brushed his fingers across the edge of the bruise on Remus' forehead. "Sex reduces stress," he said. "I imagine it's _good_ for the epilepsy."

Remus... blushed. "Ah. That's the second thing. Sex. Actually, I've never. Um."

"You've never had sex before?" Severus tried not to sound incredulous; it obviously didn't work. Remus was red all the way down to his waistband. It was mesmerising.

"I've done my share of messing about, but. No. Is that a problem?"

"I don't know. What's the third thing, and don't think that fiddling with my belt will distract me."

"I have scars," Remus said flatly. He brought Severus' hand to his waist, and Severus rubbed his thumb across the smoothness of an old burn. Remus leant his cheek against Severus' shoulder. "It's a pretty bad package, I admit. Scarred, prone to fits, and probably bad in bed as well."

Severus kissed the bridge of Remus' nose. "Dead sexy," he said, and stopped Remus' protest with a finger across his lips. "Shut up." He pushed him backwards onto the bed and tugged down the zip on Remus' jeans. Remus raised his hips as Severus pulled, and the jeans were relegated to the floor as Severus drank in the sight of Remus Lupin, naked and hard and _in his bed_.

The scars were faded to silver; Severus ran his hand up them, from just above Remus' right knee, twisting around his hip, rising to his waist. Several silver trails stretched down towards the tangle of dark pubic hair; Severus let his fingers linger there even as he looked up.

"You were lucky, I think," he said.

Remus had pushed himself up on one elbow, and his eyes as he watched were dark with desire. "I hope," he said hoarsely, "my luck still holds."

Severus decided to interpret that as a request. Remus' hips jerked as he wrapped his fingers around the base of Remus' cock. He moved his hand experimentally, and Remus made the most fascinating mewling sound. He tried it again, and the noise was just as satisfying the second time. He bent forward and ran his tongue once around the head of his cock, already tasting the tang of come.

One of Remus' hands had found its way into his hair and tangled there as Remus made an incoherent petition to the gods. Severus sucked the head of his cock into his mouth, stroking slowly with his hand. He reached up and rubbed the pads of his fingers against one dark nipple, and Remus' back arched off the bed.

"Keep still," he said around the fullness in his mouth, and Remus groaned. Severus traced the veins of his cock with his tongue and smiled as he felt Remus' hips shake with the effort of not thrusting.

Remus pulled his hand up to his mouth and sucked two fingers in greedily. Severus finger-fucked his mouth until Remus twisted his head away.

"Severus," he said; and then he gave a strangled cry, and Severus had to hold him down to keep from being choked as Remus' cock exploded in his mouth. Remus was making harsh, broken sounds. Severus swallowed one last time and let Remus' cock slide from his mouth. Remus tugged him up and kissed him as if he were starving.

"Thank you," Remus said, and Severus snorted.

"You needn't be polite in bed, Lupin."

Remus smiled, and with his hair twisted into sweaty points he looked positively wicked. "What do you want, Severus?"

_I want to fuck you into the mattress,_ Severus' brain whispered insidiously, and Severus told it to shut the hell up, that Remus was practically convalescent, and that the fifteenth date was far too soon for that sort of thing anyway. _Liar,_ his brain pouted.

Remus was undoing his trousers, sliding his hands over Severus' hips far more than was necessary to remove simple articles of clothing.

"Touch me," Severus said, and Remus must have been waiting for the invitation because he pushed Severus over and under. He ducked his head, and Severus felt teeth close on his neck, gently; but then Remus moved, and the world tilted sideways. It was not unlike being devoured alive, and the concentration of sensation at the junction of hot tongue and teeth and skin made Severus squirm. And the feeling when Remus' devilish smile flickered over his skin was breathtaking. Severus was possessed, and the insistent hand that wandered between his thighs nudged his legs apart.

Remus, Severus decided, was a tease, but one who kept him under such a state of assault that he couldn't collect himself enough to complain. _Touch my cock,_ he thought frantically, _you're so close, so close, just. A little. More._.

"More, Severus?" Remus asked, smirking again, damn it, and Severus groaned as fingers whispered over his weeping cock. And then he was forced to watch as Remus licked his fingers clean. One by one. And then Remus licked straight across his palm, and--

Blessed relief as that slick hand wrapped around his cock, moving firmly and hard, even as Remus' mouth sucked at a nipple, rolling it over and under his tongue. Remus' eyes fluttered shut and he looked so beautifully debauched that Severus felt his body go light all the way through; and he came, grinding his teeth against a cry as he shuddered against gravity.

"Love you," Remus was saying softly as Severus' brain jerkily collected itself, and Severus couldn't find the words to respond, so he simply wrapped himself around Remus and held on tight.


End file.
